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So, way back when, I used to read all these fics and most were crap. A few were passable. A rare one or two were absolutely brilliant.

The others are simply amusing and cracked out.

Like the one where Justin moves to NYC, and he gets an apartment in Brooklyn, where all his neighbors speak Spanish. Brian comes to visit, and the first words out of his mouth are 'God, your apartment's tiny' and the second thing is, in Spanish, "let's fuck". And then Justin corrects him on conjugation, since he's been babysitting for Maria next door, playing pattycake with little Angela and learning basic Spanish.

Or the one where Rodney needs a wife to round out his perfect image, but ends up falling for John, his relationship counselor instead.

Or the one where Draco runs away from England, and opens a Chinese restaurant in Budapest.

I don't come across much like that, anymore.

And I don't help much, cause I don't really write like that either. They say you should write what you'd like to read, but I can't seem to do that. Cause there's a difference between what I want to read and what I end up writing.

But I don't know what the hell I'm complaining about because the books I am going to read are piled five deep, in two piles, and I cannot imagine a better thing.
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Today I priced the second season on Queer as Folk to be sold for v. cheap. I squeaked in happiness a little as I did it. No lie. The only bad part is that it's on VHS. Wonder where I could go to have it converted to DVD?
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1. The way Brian smokes pot and listens to Thelonius Monk. That one scene in S3 where Justin tries to return the tuition check to Brian and Brian's watching a James Dean movie, the way he knows all the words. The way he mouths them along with James.

2. That scene in the first episode of the second season where Michael comes back from Portland, and he's broken up with David, who could have been a long-term partner if he wasn't such a controlling asshole. 'I'm lost, Ma' he says. 'Everyone else has moved on with their lives and I'm exactly where I was ten years ago. No job. No boyfriend. Nothing.'

And Debbie, in one of several speeches that propel me straight into love and awe for her, says 'you're not lost honey. you're just full of shit. you have people who love you, and as long as you have that, you're never lost.'

3. That one speech Brian gives Ted when he's whining about not having a bofriend.
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2 of my icons made it onto [ profile] llandafaz's icons of Ep. 117 post.
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This year*, Randy Harrison is going to play Tom Wingfield in the Glass Menagerie in Minneapolis. I am unbelievably excited and already making plans to go. Okay, so I said the same thing about Suddenly Last Summer and seeing Gale Harold. But. I actually know Menagerie. I've read it several times, and here's the important thing, actually like the play quite a bit. So. I'm looking forward to it.

This whole interview with Randy Harrison, whom I like most probably out think is the best actor of all the guys on QAF, (he actually has to act, especially near the end when he couldn't get out of his contract) was a fun read. Especially the dates at the end and the city it would be playing in. I thought it was playing in Milwaukee, because I don't really know the difference between all those midwestern cities.

*Apparently it is 2007. I'll keep saying this year and meaning 2006 until the middle of February.
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I may as well name this entry unpopular fandom opinions. But all my complaining won't stop me from signing up for the qaf_challenges challenge this month. )

I am tired. And it's rather late. I'm filling in empty space the way my mother taught me. And I'm signing up for the challenge because I have a great idea. It may be borrowing from [ profile] theredwepainted's mix of story and song, cause I have a bunch of songs that would be perfect. And that whole thing about music being such an integral part of the show.
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Reading fic about Brian and Michael. Not in any sexual way. I just can't get enough of their friendship. Their dynamic. Listening to Regina Spektor on my shiny nano. I can't think of a better way to spend a ho hum Thursday night. Snuggling with a nice boy would beat this night hands down. But reading and Regina is pretty rad anyway.
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I want things to be easy, I suppose. )

I am completely incapable of writing fluffy Christmas fic. Which is bad cause the challenge this month on [ profile] qaf_challenges is the holiday season.
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Time for unpopular fandom opinions!

1. QAF fandom is awesome. Where else would I get 17 reviews for a fic I wrote three hours before deadline? Nowhere.

There's bad parts of it too. I've forgotten what it's like to watch a show and not mock, not know what the actors are thinking all the time. I've forgotten why QAF was awesome in the first place.

See, QAF works best and is supposed to be a feel-good soap with a great soundtrack. Which is why the British version is so much better. The American producers said 'hm, let's take this funny and irreverent show about a bunch of gay men and inject it with drama. let's replace stuart, who has the most devilish smile and actually has a personality with a six-foot block of wood named brian. and let's take vince's nerdiness and make it into whiny annoyance. yeah. that would work so well.'


I think I've forgotten how happy QAF made me. How unbelievably liberating it was to watch a show where no one ever uttered the words 'woe is me, for i am gay.' Ever.

2. People. Why do you keep killing off Ben in fic. It is not cool. Not at all. Torturing Mikey isn't cool either. So don't do it. Thanks.


I went driving today. It was fun. I can't wait till I get my license.
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Sometimes, I fear that I won't remember much of life. Frankly, young childhood was just time wasted until I learned to read. Then things really got good. Not really. I spent eight years languishing in a horribly incestuous school. I didn't have any friends. It's all blended into one long day for me. A really bad day.

Today I kind of forgot about consiously storing away happy moments to take out later and remember, and just was. It was rather liberating.

Wandering around until way past dark was fun. Deep conversations about memories and sex and Courtney's two uvulas was fun.

OMG, how emo am I. It's only November and am already anticipating how I will miss Albany. And my friends. Whom I love, sososo much. Given the inadequacy of the language...I can't really describe it. I'm bracing myself. Hopefully it won't hurt so much if I prepare for it.

I am so frakking tired right now. But I made a blood pact with myself that I'd raise my grades. This requires doing homework. As opposed to sleeping, or watching that episode of QAF where Brian's 12yr old nephew accuses him of molestation. And the first thing his friends say is along the lines of 'gosh, he's even younger than the last one.'

Haha, I love how ridiculously bad this show is. Love.
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I am going to get a frakking ulcer from college stuff.

On the one hand, I like to travel.

On the other, my mother is a highly anxious creature. She, following the example of her own mother wants to keep me close to her bosom.

Over my dead body am I living in one city my entire life. Unless it is NYC, because it is the only exception. Also exceptional.

So I'm applying to about 11 colleges. Most are out of the capital district.

i really don't want to stay here.

It's comfortable and familiar. So I can come back and know my way around. I'd like that, I think.

Meanwhile, it's causing me lots of stress. I feel trapped and like a bad daughter. not fun.

What I wouldn't give for a mother who believed that I could accomplish anything. Seriously? You smother a porkchop, not a child.


This fanmix made my day. I love brian/mikey. I love that they're BFFs. That Mikey's in love with his best friend, and Brian knows better than to do anything about it. Basically, I love their entire relationship. And the ending. Oh the ending. It helped me come to terms with the actual ending, a bit. *grumbles*

Mostly, i love that the fanmix is a fic interspersed with songs. Vice-versa. Whatev.
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In a month or so, when my hair grows out a bit, it's going to look like Justin Taylor's. Then, I'll be spending my weekends hanging out on street corners, waiting for hot older men to pick me up.

Proof: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Today McGurn used the word bombastic in class. He was talking about Germany during WWI, and that's pretty much the perfect way to describe them. Seriously, I think he's bomb-diggity for using a big word in class. Which is why I took another of his classes.
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“Family” can be defined in many ways. Tell us about a typical meal shared with the people you consider your family.

-Bard College application question #3.

Gus Peterson has the best college application essay. Finally, something good has come out of having the most complicated family ever. This makes up for his father showing up drunk for his junior high graduation. For that one time Justin picked him up from school and someone asked if he was Gus's boyfriend. For always having to explain about his lesbian mothers. For having to explain why they always have free passes to Disneyland through Hunter, his not-uncle's adopted son. How Uncle Mike isn't his uncle at all.

This question makes up for all of that, because writing it will be the easiest essay he has ever written. )
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Those couple of songs that have been flitting through my head like particularly annoying burly garden gnomes?

I found the names of both. And downloaded.

There's The Scientist- Coldplay. "Nobody said it was easy..."

And then there's Drama (Club Mix)- Soul Theory. This song is playing at a brilliant moment in one of the 5th season QAF episodes. This guy who is younger and hotter than Brian is dancing in his club, and Brian's coming to the conclusion that he's getting too old for the club scene. What's brilliant is that he's leaning up against the bar, and has this little half-smile on his face. It's rather low-key and subtle, which is unusual for this show. And this song's playing in the background.

The person who picked the music for QAF obviously wants me to bear his children, because the music is one of the very best things about the show.
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Someone let his thirteen year old boy out to play in the process of writing this article on Gale Harold's role in Vanished, and the effect that being the lead on QAF will have on his career.

There are few straight actors who have played gay quite as long and hard as Gale Harold.


Good article.
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I have reached the point of sadness where my grandmother came over today and guilt tripped me into leaving the house. To walk her home.

I start radiation next week. I've already met with the radiologist, who wears fugly sweaters and talks way too fast. When I was on the table being x-rayed and CT scanned? All I could think about was this. That's obsession, kids.

I want to go back to school already. I miss school. A lot.
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What I like a lot about QAF is the distinct lack of shame in these people. Except Ted. Though no one likes Ted, so there you go.

I could use less shame in me. Honestly, at one point in in my life, I wil walk into a room and conquer. Head up, shoulders back, glittery aura pushed forwards. Yep. Someday.


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May 2010

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