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Ally let me drive her car. It's my birthday. I'm thinking that the two things are connected somehow. :)
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So. I am writing a packing list for orientation in my head. I am flirting with the boy in my own way, so ninja sneaky that he likely can't tell when I am. Or maybe I am stupidly obvious. I am still not okay with the fact that no one will likely love me the way Odysseus loved Penelope.

I am going to fill the bits of summer that I am home with friends and family. They're kind of like crusts of time that sandwich this great big orientation in July that I am r. hyped for. I am going to take lots of pictures so that I'll be able to remember how things used to be, while I am hurtling toward the future.

Earda's getting me a framed picture of us for graduation. And half of a best friend necklace*. Because I requested a cheap and tacky one. It will not be cheap nor tacky because that is not in her vocabulary. And that's okay.

*I used to sneer at girls who wore those things, back when Dara was my only friend. Now that I have great friends, I want one. It will probably end up like this with relationships as well.


Am so sleep deprived, but don't really care. This summer will be rad. I'll make it that way.
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Last day of school was a mess. I got kinda teary at lunch and then Justine made fun of me. I played cards with a bunch of boys after the lockdown. We had a pretty serious food fight at AHS, apparently. There were even officers on horseback. The best part of the day? Was when my Biology teacher brought in books for me. Six Terry Pratchett books later, and I am a happy happy girl.

Then Earda called me and was all 'whose house am I going to hang out at every weekend?' and 'sniffle sniffle what do you want for graduation? sniffle sniffle' and 'congrats! how does it feel?'


It hasn't sunk in yet.

Maybe it will.


I posted mad pictures at my facebook.

Am now waiting for the macbook to charge, screwing around online. *sigh* I still can't believe school's over.

I'll work all summer, for the bits that I'm not in Buffalo. I'll go out this week, and get a bunch of presents for people. Especially my guidance counselor. She's a goddess. Yeah. After graduating AHS everything's ... gravy.
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Went to a prescreening of Surf's Up with Justine. Have not laughed so hard in a long time. I always forget, after not going for awhile, how much I love going to the movies. How great it feels to watch something at top volume in a room with a floor sticky from years of spilled sugar and puke. How cool it feels when the sound's so loud that it thrums through your chest. That works with concerts too, I suppose.

Also, I had an electric green slushie at Dunkin Donuts. It was really gross. I don't recommend it.

I do however, recommend the movie The Hebrew Hammer. Just for the pure joy of seeing Andy Dick* play an evil Santa Claus. And the catchphrase? Best ever.

*I'm waiting for Andy Dick to just come out of the closet already. Maybe in the next five years?
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Friday: Went home early with a migraine. Missed last period math.

Saturday: Wandered around downtown with Jolana has-the-bestest-most-Italian-last-name-ever. Went to the NYS museum. Was great fun. Walked around on Lark st. Went into several funky jewelery stores, art supply stores. Had a gynormous gyro* at Taste of Greece. Would definitely go back there.

Today: Checked most of 5 blogs that I read at least once a week.
Things I've Bought That I Love.
No Rest For the Wicked.
Questionable Content.

Starting to do homework.

Counting down the days.
11 days till I can sign up to go to Israel.
4 months till senior year's done.
5 months +a few days till seventh Harry Potter book. Also, my 19th birthday.

*I'm not sorry at all about that pun. It had to be done.
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Authors for today:
Anais Nin.
Augusten Bourrows.
Umberto Eco.

Favorite quotes of the week:
'she's trying to suck all that fat in, but she can't' - Earda, about some girl's myspace picture. The kind of picture that makes you feel good about yourself. Really good.

'your sarcasm is overcome by my unfailing optimism' - Justine.
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This vacation, I hung out with some pretty cool people. I celebrated New Year's at Liza's. Went to a bunch of parties that were really an excuse to sit around and talk. I played DDR for the first time ever. I watched some really cool movies.

People talk about resolutions and how the year's been right around this time of year. I think resolutions are silly, and there's not much in life that I regret. The past year's been terrible and wonderful, often at the same time. So I'm glad it's over and have hope for the next year. That's all I can do, really.

Here's a song that's sentimental and sad, cause the holidays make me feel maudlin and old. Next Year, Baby - Jamie Cullum
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Macie it's your birthday. Happy Birthday Macie!

Macie, what can I say? Having discussions about Harry Potter, and your crush on Albus Dumbledore, those fun 12AM IM conversations, they all make my day brighter. And make me glad that we're friends.
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At least once a day I find myself wishing for an ipod so I could block out outside noise. Or maybe some great earplugs.

This girl who's sitting near me in the College Center is breathing mad loud. I have no idea why, but I think it's creepy. That and when old people chew on nothing. Like my mother's been doing lately. Creepy, man.

Every few days, I get mail from [ profile] holiday_wishes. Yesterday I got a card from Portugal. And the first thing I thought of? Is that monastery in Lisbon that has walls held together with quicklime and virgin olive oil. It's been there for hundreds of years. And it's a hard as concrete.
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[ profile] acidquill sent me a copy of Soul Music.

Yay, I love coming home to find gifts waiting for me. So much.

Also? I got a postcard from Pennsylvania.


I wonder if they've got Liberty Ave postcards? Hmmm.
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Sometimes, I fear that I won't remember much of life. Frankly, young childhood was just time wasted until I learned to read. Then things really got good. Not really. I spent eight years languishing in a horribly incestuous school. I didn't have any friends. It's all blended into one long day for me. A really bad day.

Today I kind of forgot about consiously storing away happy moments to take out later and remember, and just was. It was rather liberating.

Wandering around until way past dark was fun. Deep conversations about memories and sex and Courtney's two uvulas was fun.

OMG, how emo am I. It's only November and am already anticipating how I will miss Albany. And my friends. Whom I love, sososo much. Given the inadequacy of the language...I can't really describe it. I'm bracing myself. Hopefully it won't hurt so much if I prepare for it.

I am so frakking tired right now. But I made a blood pact with myself that I'd raise my grades. This requires doing homework. As opposed to sleeping, or watching that episode of QAF where Brian's 12yr old nephew accuses him of molestation. And the first thing his friends say is along the lines of 'gosh, he's even younger than the last one.'

Haha, I love how ridiculously bad this show is. Love.
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Courtney! Happy 17th.
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Happy birthday Ginni. Hope it's a good one. ♥
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Hanging and diner experience tonight was fun. Though there was a disturbing lack of spinny chairs at the counter. Still fun. Good conversation. OK food. Caitlin Sahm. Good things, all.

Worked out my schedule today. I might be able to take both Psycology and Biology AP though they conflict. My guidance counselor is amazing. Will be sending that woman flowers.

I skimmed through an interesting book lately, called the Art of Getting Lost. Skimmed, because though the beginning was strong, it petered off in the middle. The author's sentences were too often run-ons, and then she started talking about how children were abducted by the natives in the early colonial period. Then I lost interest.

Five years ago, I was consumed by books. It was easier to read. The print was bigger, the books themselves more formulaic and predictable. Nowadays I still read a lot. But now I'm more picky.
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In terms of hanging out with friends, this week makes up for all of lonely June.

I'm rather tired. But happy.
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I wilt without routines. Two days away from school, and already I feel more depressed than usual.

So I'm thinking, we [and by we I mean you] need to trek to Muddycup and play scrabble. Or something.
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But it kind of feels like it is.

Today was the last day of classes of my junior year of high school. There's an awful finality to that which makes me feel maudlin and old. High school feels like it's over already, [though it's not].

My math class chipped in to give me a 'we're sorry you have cancer and hope you feel better' gift basket. That's right around the point when I had to start holding back tears. It's odd too, because I remember leaving middle school and not hating the thought of leaving that school nearly as much as I am hating the thought of leaving AHS. [We were taking final exams, and one girl, Shuli, was crying through the entire Hebrew Regents and I thought that I would never feel that way about a school. I do though.] Then again, I hated most of my middle school years.


Now I'm going to go out and hang with friends, because I don't feel like being alone today.


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May 2010

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